The ANZ Apotheosis - Prologue

 There was a low buzz of conversation in the RSL accompanied by the discordant tintinnabulation of poker machines. He shuffled slowly up to the community notice board by the bar, giving the rack of bottles behind the bar a long, lascivious look as he did so. Each time he lifted a foot from the ancient obligatory muted toned carpet, his shoes made a sound like someone parting Velcro. In one corner, a gaggle of desperate looking punters were watching the inevitable sports broadcast. 

From the looks of it, Imp Fighting being broadcast out of the new pit they just finished building in Wollonwrong . Most seemed to be cheering for an emaciated yet wiry looking bucca with a trident the size of a slightly overly large salad fork - "Cousin Jack". A few desperadoes were barracking for a homonculus that looked like it had been slapped together from a few nails and the contents of a medical waste bin - "Toothy Hairy". Unsurprisingly, a vaguely humanoid mass of flesh covered in random clumps and scatterings of hair, haphazardly studded with teeth. He paused, procrastinating slightly and scratched the back of his head, just below the natural tonsure in hair. Hair the grey of a wet footpath. Try as he might, he could not feign enthusiasm for the blood sport. Duty called. 

With a resigned sigh, he pulled a much-folded, rumpled piece of paper out of his pocket. He unfolded it, trying in vain to smooth some of the wrinkles and fold lines. He scrutinised the board in the semi-gloom offered by the luminescent crystals set into the ceiling for unused pins. Finding none, he shrugged and removed a few holding up a flyer (complete with tearable tabs containing contact information) for “Sarahmon’s sensual massage service". (A single tab had been torn off).

Using his pilfered pins, he secured his notice to the board, over an ad for "Greywolf's Daycare and child minding" . It read:

HELP WANTED:

Independently wealthy millionaire requires individuals to assist in the recovery of a number of items. Experience with the uncanny/occult beneficial but not required. No supernatural entities.

The following details will be required for your application to be successful:

Known aliases
Favoured weapon/offensive ability
Secondary weapon/non-offensive ability
Skills, proficiencies and general attributes of note (a maximum of three)
Preferred form of attire

He paused, stepped back to make sure the notice was adequately level. Then, he left the RSL. Albeit, not before a sinking a few pints of Resch's. He was so very, very tired and after all, Resch's refreshes.

[Teaser background music: Rowland S. Howard - Pop Crimes
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqMuavjwb6M 

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